If I'm Not Thinking About This Than Nobody Is

The first step in creating rising levels of stress and inadequacy.

The realization washed over me as I scrolled through a website's monthly checklist of wedding planning. There were things on there that I hadn't even thought about and in that moment I knew  because I hadn't thought about them, no one had. 

That meant, if something wrong were to happen (or not happen) at the wedding it would be because I didn't plan it properly. Yes, that is how my brain works. 

Thanks to that little thought burrowing into my brain my stress levels went bonkers. I piled on the self-pressure, demanding that I have all the answers even before people had the question. Mark asked how he could help, so I sent him a list but asked that he include me on everything, you know, just in case. 

Talk about task-mastering asshole. 

People ask me how long until the wedding and honestly, I don't know. I just know it's set to happen on August 26th and I have a shit ton of things to think about before then.